Lame Excuses for Not Wearing a Condom
Written by Daniel Casiilas
I have worked in the HIV/STD field for nearly 13 years and I have heard it all when it comes to the excuses people will use to wiggle out of not using a latex barrier. Men and women, young and old, gay, straight, bisexual, and tri-sexual all have made up excuses for not using a protection. I have no doubt that, at some point in your sexual life, you may find yourself face-to-face with some of these excuses and/or have heard someone talk about their experience. Check out this short list:
“It’s too tight.”
“It’s too small”
“It’s too big.” (Yes…too big.)
“It makes me lose my erection.”
“They smell funny.”
“They cost too much.”
“I’m allergic to latex.”
“They taste awful.”
“I forgot it.”
“It’s not my job to bring the condom.”
“They ruin the mood.”
“They always tear.”
“I want to ‘feel’ you.”
I will admit using a male latex condom isn’t always the most exciting part of sex. I think, for newbies, it could even be awkward pulling out a condom, following step-by-step instructions, and, all the while, trying to impress your partner (or at least appear as if this isn’t your first time at the rodeo- even though it probably is). If you don’t believe me, check out this clip from The 40 Year Old Virgin.
The truth is, coming up with some lame excuse for not using a male condom merely suggests that you (or your partner) have not carefully considered the consequences. So here are some tips I’ve used or have heard others use that may come in handy some day for you.
Tip #1: Like trying on a sexy pair of skinny jeans, a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes or a raincoat (pun intended), men and women should try on different condom models until they find the right fit.
There are many different models of condoms on the market today. The trick is finding the one or two or three condoms that will protect and stimulate you and your partner.
REMEMBER: Only use latex, polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms.
Tip #2: Practice makes perfect. It’s not enough to just find the perfect condom fit; you need to practice. I suggest, especially for guys who want to seem experienced, put forth the effort and learn the proper steps for using a condom.
It’s okay to masturbate with a condom! This type of practice allows you to get used to wearing a condom. You can work out the kinks, privately, before ending up looking like the 40-year Old Virgin.
Tip #3: Lubricate. Lubrication, on the outside of the condom when it’s on, can make the experience much more enjoyable for both partners. The extra lubrication will help when putting it on and taking it off. Extra lubrication will also help with dryness that can sometimes cause too much friction, which could lead to condom breakage.
REMEMBER: Use only water-based or silicone lubricants with latex condoms. NEVER use oil-based lubricants with latex; this could lead to breakdown of the condom.
Tip #4: I think the most legitimate excuse for not using a male latex condom is, “I’m allergic.” There are a lot of men and women who are allergic to latex. For individuals who are allergic, there are condoms made of polyurethane. Polyurethane condoms are non-allergenic and can be used by just about anyone.
Tip #5: Be prepared. Being sexually active means taking on additional responsibilities and precautions to protect yourself and your partner from HIV and sexually transmitted infections. Don’t depend on your partner to bring protection. Both of you should come prepared with a latex male or female condom, lubrication, and plenty of tricks up your sleeve to make your sexual experience stimulating both emotionally and physically.
Abstinence and condoms, as you’ve learned from previous posts, are the two proven ways that you can protect yourself from becoming infected with HIV and or reduce the chance of a sexually transmitted infection. Regardless of your choice, what is important to remember is that it is your decision. That being said, whether you are abstinent and thinking about having sex or currently active, communication in any relationship is key to a lasting (even if for just 3-minutes) healthy and safe sexual experience.
Lets hear from you: What lame excuses have you heard people use for not using a latex barrier and/or tips you’ve found helpful?
Posted on April 8, 2012, in Condoms, Health, Protection/Safety, Safe sex, Safer sex, Sex, Sex education, Sexual Health and tagged Birth control, Communication, condoms, health, HIV, prevention, Sex Tips, Sexually transmitted disease, STDs, STIs. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.